Best Humor |
I saw a sign at a gas station. It said
'Help Wanted'. There was another sign below it that said 'Self Service'. So I hired myself. Then I made myself the boss. I gave myself a raise. I paid
myself. Then I quit. I went to a general store. They wouldn't let me buy anything specifically. On the other hand... You have different fingers. If the pen is mightier than the sword, then in a duel I'll let you have the pen! It doesn't matter what temperature the room is; it's always room temperature. I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They said, 'What for?' I said, 'I'm going to buy some sugar'. In Vegas, I got into a long argument with the man at the roulette wheel over what I considered to be an odd number. The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and doesn't stop until you get to work. Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny? When a man talks dirty to a woman, its sexual harassment. When a woman talks dirty to a man, it's $3.95 per minute. Ever notice how irons have a setting for permanent press? I don't get it. I saw a bank that said '24 Hour Banking', but I don't have that much time. It's a good thing we have gravity, or else when birds died they'd just stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused. How young can you die of old age? I went to a restaurant that serves 'Breakfast at any time'. So I ordered French Toast during the Renaissance. I was in the grocery store. I saw a sign that said 'Pet supplies'. So I did. Then I went outside and saw a sign that said 'Compact cars'... |